بينا

Friday, February 29, 2008

Cancer Smash

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.

Trying to make the matter clearer,she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet ain't empty."
*******

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
*******

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want.God is watching the apples
.


*******

Next Joke? Marriage... In different directions

Cancer Smash


************ *********
Still Hungry? Here Are More Games 4 U :)

Cancer Smash


************ *********
Still Hungry? Here Are More Games 4 U :)

VW Bus-Snooker Table










Give me a break

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man said to the American,"You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.

We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now I have a hell lot of family problems.

"The American said, "Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.

"After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.


The American continued,My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son.

My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son.


Now my father's son I.e. My brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems....

Give me a break!!"*******

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Flipshot


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
More Free Games for U :
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

72mm Pics















طباعة المصحف الشريف

هل شاهدت كيف يتم طباعة المصحف في مجمع الملك فهد بالمدينة ؟ تفضل بالصور
مدخل المجمع وفيه مسجد كبير يتوسط مباني المجمع
مجسم ضخم للمصحف وسط الساحة
وجدنا في استقبالنا موظفوا العلاقات العامة ، وبدأ البرنامج بعرض فلم عن المجمع في صالتين كبيرتين في البهو ..
صالات الاستقبال وفيها شاشات العرض



الجدير بالذكر أن المجمع يحوي مبنى الإدارة والمطابع ومبنى اللجنة العلمية وسكن الموظفين وسكن الضيافة والمطعم والمسجد ومواقف للسيارات ومبنى المبيعات والمستودعات والمستوصف والمناطق الترفيهية لعائلات السكان ومبنى الصيانة .
زوار المجمع أكثر من مليونين من جميع الأقطار
حينما وقفنا على الشرفة هالنا ما رأينا من مساحة وتجهيزات ومكائن المطابع الهائلة التي تنتج 160 منتجا مختلفا
انظر الجدول واحمد الله على هذه النعمة العظيمة

الرقم الأول مائة وستة عشر مليون نسخة !!

صورة الشرفة المطلة على المطابع
يملك المجمع 12 ماكينة طباعة بالأوفست كبيرة الحجم
عمل دؤوب لايعرف الملل
أكثر من 1700 موظف يعملون في المجمع


ما أجمل العمل في خدمة كتاب الله
من مميزات المجمع : الرقابة الشديدة على النص ثم النوعية ثم النهائية



صورة لأختام المراقبين التي تعني إجازة النسخة للتوزيع ، يوجد أكثر من 400 مراقب يجلسون على طاولة واحدة تمر عليهم المصاحف ليتأكدوا من خلو النسخ من الأخطاء .
كما يوجد بالمجمع مصنع للكاسيت والسيدي حيث يصنع وسجل ويطبع ويغلف الكاسيت أو السيدي داخل المجمع .
وهنا تجدون آلات التسجيل والنسخ

شرح واف لكل الزوار مهما كانت أعمارهم وأعدادهم

المبيعات
رغب كثير من المحسنين في التبرع لطباعة المصحف ، وبما أن المجمع وقف لله تعالى من الدولة فقد وضعت إدارة المجمع قسما للمبيعات لمن أراد أن يشتري نسخا ويوزعها بنفسه .


المصحف الكبير يباع بـ 60 ريالا . وبقية المصاحف تتراوح من 10 إلى 30 ريالا ، المصحف المسموع 26 ريالا فقط .
بقي أن أقول إنه بإمكان أي شخص أن يزور المجمع في أوقات الدوام ، فقط اركب سيارة أجرة واطلب منه يوصلك للمجمع ، وزيارة موفقة ..


Wrong Flowers

A quick laugh for 5 mins

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.


*******

Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!


*******
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.


*******

Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?


*******

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.

The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything
.


*******

Enjoyed? There are more : Click to continue...

Magic Heaven


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
More Free Games for U :
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ice Jewellery





Katharina Ludwig puts the emphasis on water’s value by incorporating it into her jewellery concept. The value of body warmth is also underlined, the energy that melts the ice. Some of the pieces, like the earrings and ring, have tiny cup-like forms built in, to catch the remaining drops of water, but others allow the ice to melt directly onto the wearer. Every time the jewellery melts, it must be recreated to be worn (or born) again.

BABY'S SWIMMING SO QUTE PICTURES











Engageya

موقع و دليل موجز مصر